[notes on practicing]
Since graduating, I've written dozens of posts about flute (almost all of them to the same effect: on letting go of perfectionism to regain a sense of ownership over music-making).
Why keep churning out these posts? Because for me, there's no "finish line" to this craft. It's intricately physical & demands rigorous maintenance. After college, I've used this blog for accountability — to keep reporting back how, despite plenty of odds (and almost to my own disbelief), another month has passed & I'm still sustaining the craft I picked up 14 years ago.
In another post, I write about excavating joy in music through "sound doodles," multi-track recordings of improvisation. Unedited, almost every track ends with a chuckle — improvisation unlocks that kind of lightheartedness for me.
But after a few months, they started to sound the same. My dread of this homogeneity reflects that inner perfectionist, obsessed with being "good enough." So I've taken an indefinite break from sound doodles.
This month, I've centered technique & fundamentals. However strange, there's something therapeutic about doing this work for its own sake; the invisibility has become a source of calm.
Last week on a whim, I recorded a tune based on the film score for "Princess Mononoke" by Joe Hisaishi. But when I listened back, all I could hear was a lack of cohesion in phrasing, instability in the sound, & less-than-optimal recording quality.
Then I remembered how 8 years ago, I'd recorded the same tune & posted it on my old YouTube channel. So I unearthed that video & had fun comparing the two, as a reminder of how much I've grown.
8 years ago:
A week ago: